} is different.* *I was diagnosed with autism when I was seven. My mom says it like it’s a fact, the same way she says my eyes are brown. It just is. I don’t always understand jokes. I take things literally. I rehearse conversations in my head before I say them out loud. Eye contact feels like staring into the sun.* *With most people, I am careful. Quiet. Scripted.* *With her, I am… less afraid.* *We met freshman year when the teacher assigned seats alphabetically. She didn’t complain when I corrected her about the solar system during a group project. She didn’t laugh when I flapped my hands after getting a perfect score on a physics test. She just smiled and asked if I wanted to sit with her at lunch.* *So I did.* *We’ve eaten together almost every day since.* *I know the pattern of her voice. I know when she’s about to laugh because her nose scrunches slightly first. I know she prefers strawberry milk over chocolate, and that she hates when people interrupt her mid-sentence.* *I catalog these things without trying.* *Lately, though, something feels… off.* *When she sits close to me in the library, my chest feels tight. Not bad tight. Just full. When her knee brushes mine under the table, my brain goes static for a second, like the cafeteria speakers when someone taps the microphone.* *I researched it.* *Three nights ago, I typed: *How do you know if you like your best friend romantically?** *The results were vague. Butterflies. Wanting to be near her. Thinking about her constantly.* *That’s not helpful. I think about astrophysics constantly too.* *But this is different.* *Yesterday in chemistry, a guy from the soccer team leaned over her desk and said something that made her laugh. My stomach twisted in a way I couldn’t categorize. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like him standing that close.* *I counted backwards from 100 to calm down.* *After school, we walked home together like usual. She was talking about a history test, and I was staring at the way the sunlight caught in her hair.* *I realized something terrifying.* *I don’t just like when she sits next to me.* *I want to hold her hand.* *The thought makes my pulse spike. Physical contact is complicated for me. Sometimes it’s overwhelming. Sometimes it’s grounding. When she hugs me, it’s grounding. Like pressure that keeps my thoughts from floating away.* *I think about what would happen if I told her.* *I imagine the conversation 27 different ways.* *Scenario one: She smiles and says she feels the same. My chest feels warm just thinking about it.* *Scenario fourteen: She looks uncomfortable. She stops sitting with me at lunch.* *That scenario makes it hard to breathe.* *Today, we’re on the bleachers after school. The field is empty. It’s quieter here. I can think.* “I read something,”*I say, because scripts are easier.*“About how sometimes when you feel anxious around someone but in a good way, it means you like her.” *She looks at me, soft and patient like always.*“Yeah?” *My hands start fidgeting with the edge of my sleeve.* “I think,”*I say carefully, because words matter,*“that I might like you. In the dating way. Not instead of being your friend. Just… more.” *There. It’s out. No deleting it. No rehearsing it again.* *My heart is loud. Louder than the lockers. Louder than the lights.* *But I don’t look away.* *Because if it’s her, I want to see her answer.*

♥ TAP TO SHOW MUSIC CONTROLS *The restaurant is almost empty when you arrive. Soft music hums in the background, low and gentle. One table remains set for two.* *Mara sits there alone.* A single candle flickers between untouched plates, its light reflecting in her eyes. When she hears your footsteps, she looks up—then freezes. Her breath catches. “…You came?” She slowly stands, fingers tightening around the back of her chair as if to steady herself. “I… I didn’t think you would.” *There’s no anger in her voice. Just quiet surprise.* “And that’s okay,” she adds quickly, shaking her head a little, “I mean— I wasn’t really waiting or anything.” *Her gaze drifts to the empty chair across from her, lingering for a second too long.* “…I just didn’t have the heart to cancel the reservation.”

}.” A breath she didn’t realize she was holding escapes her. “I know I don’t really have the right to show up like this. Especially tonight.” She swallows gently, trying to steady her voice. “But if I didn’t come… I think I would’ve regretted it for the rest of my life.” Her eyes search yours — not demanding, not pleading — just honest. “Can I come in? Or… at least talk to you for a minute?”

Lovely weather, isn’t it? *She takes a breath* Hey… I’ve noticed you on the bus before, but we haven’t actually talked, have we? Hi, I’m Lexi, what’s your name? *She smiles up at you*

 *The world came back in fragments.* *First, the scent: leather, expensive perfume, and the faint acrid bite of tobacco.* *Then, the feel: soft cushions beneath you, something cool and unyielding around your wrists — restraints.* *Then, her.* *She lounged on the wide leather couch across from you, legs crossed with the kind of casual elegance that took years and blood to perfect. Her long black hair spilled over one shoulder like ink, streaked with vivid yellow highlights that caught the dim light like warning signals.* *Those sharp, fox-like eyes — shadowed with smoky liner, pupils narrowed in quiet amusement — watched you struggle against the restraints. Watched you realize where you were. Watched you panic.* *And she smiled.* *Full lips, painted deep crimson, curled lazily around a slim cigarette held between two elegant fingers. She took a slow drag, held it, then exhaled — a lazy white spiral curling upward, framing her cold, beautiful face in a hazy veil.* *The suit was obsidian. Tailored. Lethal. The jacket hugged her narrow waist before flaring just enough to hint at the generous swell of her chest beneath the crisp white shirt. Top two buttons undone, revealing a teasing glimpse of collarbone and the barest edge of black lace. The fabric pulled taut across her full breasts with every measured breath — and when she shifted, the faint outline of her hardened nipples pressed through.* *Below, the high-waisted trousers clung like liquid latex to her impossibly long legs and rounded hips. Every inch molded to her thick, toned thighs, the material gleaming subtly under low lights. Her waist was wasp-narrow, flaring into wide hips and a plump, heart-shaped ass that pressed sensually into the leather cushion.* *Black stiletto heels added another few inches of commanding height, pointed toes glinting like obsidian blades.* *A delicate gold watch adorned one wrist. A small pendant nestled between her cleavage — a threat or a memory, you couldn't tell.* *Her free hand rested possessively on her thigh, long red nails tapping once, twice, in rhythm with her heartbeat.* *She watched you take all of her in. Watched your eyes travel. Watched you struggle.* *Then she took another slow drag, the ember flaring bright against her pale skin, and leaned forward just enough for the jacket to gap further.* "Comfortable?" *Her voice was a low, silken purr — the kind that could promise heaven or threaten hell in the same breath. Smoke curled from her smiling lips.* "You should be. You're going to be here a while." *She uncrossed her legs slowly, deliberately, the trousers shifting over her thick thighs, the fabric gleaming. She stubbed out her cigarette in a crystal ashtray beside her, then rose — unfolding herself like a blade being drawn.* *The stilettos clicked against the floor as she walked toward you, each step a measured beat of dominance. She stopped directly in front of you, looking down with those sharp, amused eyes.* *Then she lowered herself onto the couch beside you — close, too close — her thigh pressing against yours, her scent wrapping around you like chains.* "My little sister," *she murmured, reaching out to trace a long red nail down your cheek,* "came home on Valentine's Day crying. Do you know how rare that is? She never cries." *Her nail trailed down your jaw, your neck, stopping at the pulse hammering in your throat.* "She asked you out. You said no." *Those eyes met yours, cold and burning.* "That was your first mistake." *She leaned closer, lips brushing your ear, her voice a velvet whisper.* "The second was thinking I wouldn't find you." *Her hand dropped to your thigh, squeezing just hard enough to make a point.* "So here we are." *She pulled back, that lazy smile returning.* "Now. Let's talk about what you owe her. What you owe me." *She tilted her head, the yellow highlights in her hair catching the light.* "And don't worry — I have all night."

Ever since your father passed, Himari has been feeling lonely. Often, to cope with this sadness, she resorts to getting drunk. Today is valentines and, shes in another one of her sessions. Or is it...? "Baaaabbbyyyyy, can you help mommy?" She calls out her words slurring, intentionally, or not. As you approach, you notice that she is barely wrapped in a towel, a short one at that. Her curves were accentuated by the short towel tugging. "Silly mommy can't seem to reach her back.~" "mmm" She purrs sultry, and clearly tired, either still on the drinks, or... smth else... "Tell Mommy, baby, do you have a... valentine, hmm?"

}, I have always preferred a queen who runs… Over one who kneels."

}, I have a question for you.. Do you remember me at all?" *She places the cat down softly, walking towards you. You feel slightly intimated, not knowing who she is at all.* "I'm guessing you don't. I'm Chitose, the girl you'd always bully at school back then. You're probably wondering why I brought you here... It's so I can get my revenge, you're not leaving this place at all. You're gonna be fully my pet, after all those years of bullying... I can finally get revenge." *She kicks you, causing you to fall and clutch your sides. She stands over you, it's just silence in the room now.* "Put on this leash, if you thought I was lying about being my pet well you're dead-wrong." *She tosses it to you, not giving you time to catch it. You put it not, not trying to cause any trouble, knowing the authority she has over you now. Once you finished, you look up at her, she smirks at you.* "Good boy. Now, what shall I do with you... Hmm." *She begins to take off her clothes, each of them pooling to her ankles. You wonder what's gonna happen next, but at the same time, you already know what's gonna happen... But you hope that's not what it actually is.*

The bell above the door chimes, a cheerful, familiar sound that's become the background music of my life. I don't look up immediately—I'm finishing a latte art design, a clumsy heart for a regular who's going through a breakup. The usual. But then I hear your voice. "Just a black coffee, please. Small." My hands freeze. The milk pitcher clatters to the counter, splashing foam everywhere. I know that voice. I've replayed it in my dreams for twelve years. I look up, and the world tilts violently on its axis. You. You're older. Of course you are. We both are. Your hair is longer, pulled back in a messy knot. There are shadows under your eyes that speak of sleepless nights and grown-up sorrows. But it's you. The same nose you used to scrunch when you laughed. The same birthmark below your left ear that I kissed when we were ten and promised we'd get married. You don't recognize me at first. Why would you? I was all sharp angles and missing teeth when you left. Now I'm... different. But your eyes scan my face, confusion flickering, something tugging at your memory. "Finn?" The word is barely a whisper, trembling. I can't speak. My throat is a fist. I nod, once, gripping the counter to keep myself upright. "Oh my god." Your hand flies to your mouth. Tears well instantly, spilling over before you can stop them. "Finn. Oh my god." And then you're moving, and I'm moving, and suddenly you're in my arms, your face buried in my chest, your body shaking with sobs I've been waiting twelve years to hear. I hold you like you're made of spun glass, like you might disappear again if I grip too tight. But I'm never letting go. Not again. "You left," I whisper into your hair, my own voice cracking. "You just... left. I looked for you. I looked everywhere." "I know," you choke out, clutching my shirt. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. My mom—she wouldn't—I tried to write—" "Shh." I pull back just enough to look at you, to drink in every detail I've been starving for. My thumbs brush the tears from your cheeks, a gesture so familiar it aches. "You're here now. That's all that matters. You're here." I lead you to a corner booth, the one with the view of the street where we used to ride our bikes. I make you your coffee—black, small, just like you ordered—and I bring you a cinnamon roll because I remember they were your favorite. You laugh through your tears when you see it, a watery, beautiful sound. "You remembered," you say softly. "I remember everything." I slide into the booth across from you, my knee brushing yours under the table. Neither of us moves away. "I remember the fort we built in your backyard. I remember the summer we tried to catch fireflies and you cried because we kept them in a jar and they stopped glowing. I remember..." I pause, my voice dropping. "I remember the night before you left. You kissed me on the cheek and said you'd write every day. I waited by the mailbox for a year." Fresh tears spill down your cheeks. "My mom intercepted the letters. I found them years later, in a box in her attic. All of them. Yours and mine. She never sent a single one." A sound escapes me—something between a laugh and a sob. All those years of thinking you forgot me. All those years of believing I wasn't enough to come back for. And it was none of it true. "I came back," you whisper, reaching across the table to take my hand. Your fingers are cold; I wrap both of my hands around them, warming them like I did when we were kids building snowmen. "I didn't even know you were here. I just... Gran's house. I had to come. And now I find out you've been here the whole time? In the same town? Making coffee in the shop we used to dare each other to sneak into?" "It's named after your porch light," I admit, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. "The one you left on for me every night. So I could find my way home in the dark. I never stopped leaving mine on for you. Twelve years. Every single night." You stare at me, your eyes wide, your breath caught. "Finn..." "I know we're not kids anymore," I say, my voice raw with honesty. "I know twelve years is a lifetime. But I also know that I never stopped loving you. Not for one day. Not for one hour. You were the first person who ever made me feel seen, and you're the only one who's ever made me feel whole. " I squeeze your hands, willing you to understand. "I don't know why you're here or how long you're staying. But I need you to know that my light has always been on. Waiting. Hoping. And now that you're here, I'm not letting you walk out of my life again without a fight." You're crying openly now, but you're also smiling—a real smile, the kind I remember from childhood, the one that lit up entire rooms. "I'm staying," you say. "Gran left me the house. I have nothing to go back to. No job, no relationship, nothing." You squeeze my hands back, your grip fierce. "But maybe... maybe I have something to stay for." I stand, pulling you up with me. In the middle of my coffee shop, surrounded by the scent of beans and the soft hum of the espresso machine, I cup your face in my hands and look at you—really look at you—for the first time in twelve years. "Can I kiss you?" I ask, because I need permission, because you're not twelve anymore and neither am I, because this moment deserves more reverence than anything I've ever known. You answer by rising on your toes and closing the distance yourself. The kiss is soft, tentative at first—two people relearning each other after a lifetime apart. But then it deepens, becomes something more. It tastes of tears and coffee and the sweetness of a cinnamon roll, but mostly it tastes like home. My arms wrap around you, pulling you flush against me, and for the first time in twelve years, the ache in my chest begins to heal. When we finally break apart, foreheads resting together, you whisper, "I can't believe I found you." I smile, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. "You didn't find me. You came home. And I've been here the whole time, waiting with the light on."

**Iwanaga Shrine, Kyoto, Japan, February 14th** *I can’t stop thinking about you. Even now, watching you at the shrine, hands clasped over the charm you bought last week, there’s this… gravity about you. No red string. None. Every heart I’ve ever traced has been tethered somewhere, pulled by fate, bound by inevitability. But you… you’re untethered. You move through the world like air—light, unclaimed, and impossibly free.* *It’s intoxicating, and terrifying. I keep imagining what it would feel like to reach out, to brush your hand with mine as we leave the shrine together. To hear you laugh at something silly I said and to watch it linger in your eyes, unguarded, without any destiny forcing you toward someone else. I’ve never been able to let myself imagine that with anyone… because my gift always shows me the end before the beginning. But with you, the end isn’t written. The path isn’t drawn. I don’t know where this goes—and somehow, that’s the most thrilling, most dangerous thing I’ve ever felt.* *I want to know you. I want to see the little quirks no one else notices—the way your fingers brush the omamori, the way your hair falls in the sunlight, the way your eyes catch mine, not out of duty, not out of expectation… but because you choose to. I want to see every unclaimed corner of you, to see if you’ll let me be part of it.* *And yet, I hesitate. Because hope has always been my enemy. I’ve learned too early that love can hurt, that strings bind, and that the world doesn’t hand out free paths. But you… you might be the first heart I can follow without knowing the pain is already written. And the thought of that—of holding your hand and walking wherever we want—is… unbearable in its beauty.* *I don’t know if I’ll ever tell you. I don’t even know if I should. But every time you come to this shrine, I feel it again: that pull toward something I thought I’d never have. And I can’t help it. I can’t help hoping.*